Social Dynamics of Criticism Cont.

There was a lot I didn’t get to talk about in the last entry because this is quite the complicated issue. I explained how social media becomes an echo chamber, even if it isn’t necessarily one from the start, and I talked briefly about the danger of seeing people as members of groups. The greatest danger here is that it can be easier to dehumanize members of groups based on their group allegiance. Social media often becomes an echo chamber because many people frequently demonize their enemy and mobilize their supporters against those who disagree. If we think of people as individuals, I think it is much more difficult to dehumanize them and justify treating them horribly.

I understand that people are sensitive about matters concerning their own freedom and how they interact with the world. Nevertheless, I think real knowledge comes from seeking criticism from others, as I’ve mentioned before. Not everyone will offer fair or helpful criticism, so you’ll have to pick someone who you think understands their perspective decently well and is not out to get you. It’s important to remember that someone disagreeing with you DOES NOT automatically mean they are out to get you! That kind of thinking is what prevents us from learning about new perspectives. Is someone going to kill you with their thoughts or their single vote? And of course, it’s far better practice to have your conversation in person, because anonymity brings out the worst in us. I’ll have to talk about that later too!

In order to not be too emotional, it’s important to try and detach yourself from the argument you are making. Think about an opinion in terms of the material reality if possible and not in terms of your own mind. That’s obviously difficult, because we live our entire lives through one perspective, and I’m not saying anyone is perfect at doing it, but I think it is at least possible to be more detached than our default setting.

I’ve been quite fortunate to have someone who disagrees with me as one of my best friends, and we talk about contentious issues quite often. Even if I don’t agree, I can at least understand their perspective, and more often than not, I think they make good arguments. I think we’ve both learned a lot from each other, and we never could have done that if we weren’t willing to hear opposing arguments. This process helps to allow us to bypass the restriction of only being able to see through our lives, but it takes some willingness to be vulnerable to accomplish that.

This kind of resilience will be useful throughout all of our lives. On social media, you can ignore people you don’t like or opposing “teams” (although I think we really shouldn’t think of them that way), but it’s more likely than not that at some point, in the corporate world especially, people will have to decide whether or not to tell you the hard truth or just not tell you at all, about how you appear to others, your performance, or anything else that they perceive. And make no mistake, just because they don’t tell you, doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about it and it isn’t affecting the way they see you, whether or not they promote you, etc. Their criticism isn’t always fair, of course; it might never be fair, but either way, it’s relevant to your success. And if you make people think that you can’t handle the truth, you will always be at a power disadvantage because knowledge is power. I know it’s a cheesy phrase that people recite often, but if that doesn’t mean a lot to you, then try flipping it around: if you don’t know, you are powerless. It has more gravity now, right?

Some aspects of the social climate I observe around me motivate people to assume that others are sensitive, and even if I’m not, there isn’t much I can do about that. But, I can try to show that I am open-minded when presented with the opportunity. If people think they can tell me the truth, I will have more information to work with, so I will have more control over my life. If they think they can’t tell me, then I will be forced to do my best to win a game when I don’t understand the rules, and that’s not the optimal way to play.